I love reading and I read a lot. I haven’t had a TV plugged in for 6 years so I got rid of it with my last move, and I don’t do Netflix either. You could say that my books are my TV – Totally Vindicated! Anyway in a lot of my reading lately I have been coming across more authors writing about loving ourselves and that makes me pretty happy!
When I started this blog a little over a year ago I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading and following ideas about loving themselves. There are many people who cannot relate to the concept, which is unfortunate. There’s a lot of ill will in this world, self-inflicted and imposed on us by others and loving ourselves helps us to manage the feelings and emotions that arise from these situations.
Recently I have been reading 2 different books that share the idea of our inner safety zone, referred to as sacred haven/retreat or coming home to ourselves. I love both of these references, and most importantly I love how the key that unlocks the doors to these zones is the love we hold for ourselves.
Once we get to know who we are and accept ourselves just the way we are, warts and all, then we are well on our way to loving ourselves. We detach from the outer influences that distract us from reality (why I unplugged my TV) and we also detach from other people’s views and opinions of us. If they don’t care for who we are, then too bad, so sad. Loving ourselves is knowing that we are ok and we don’t need anyone’s approval or validation.
Easier said than done for some of us who have been toting around years of emotional Samsonite! It takes time and we often need to work on this one baby step at a time.
However eventually we can sense a change in ourselves and we feel some strength that motivates us to react differently to some of the trials we experience. Better yet, we begin to realize that in many situations, no reaction at all is more fitting. Out with drama and in with quiet resolve.
So how do you honestly feel about that? Do you find yourself Doing Time if you have been on the receiving end of someone else’s frustration or even when you are on the receiving end of nothing, where your expectations (in someone or something) were high in the sky and reality was a deep dive into a mud puddle?
That is how the need for validation works. If there is anything at all or anyone at all that holds your power, then you haven’t quite made it to loving yourself. If you are able to hold strong in the situations of life that cause uncertainty or better yet, you know that you are truly dependent on no one other than yourself, you have entered the tunnel of love. With all of the right people too; me, myself and I 😀
It will only be through challenging circumstances and/or the experience of the less than desirable emotions of others where our mettle is tested. If we are able to come into our sacred retreat, our inner home where our love for ourselves is what supports us the most in hard times, then we are rewarded with an amazing gift.
That gift is the knowledge that we don’t need anything or anyone. Does that sound like a good thing or are you already starting to feel lonely? Deep down inside you won’t feel alone when you hold your own power – and for the most part, you will never be lonely.
Because you have the special place inside that shelters you from every storm. It’s not dependent on the acceptance of others or any external influence – there isn’t any one person or any one thing that is going to remain in our lives or be a part of our lives forever. Things change and we have to let go.
If we love ourselves and have discovered that safe place within ourselves, where we are truly enough, then we are able to be comfortable within no matter what. We hold our own power and it’s in that power where we can weather the most merciless storms, regardless of their name or their velocity.